One Hundred (100) Things about Nick

2004-07-20T04:19:00.000-07:00

1. I am an avid and fast reader. The first decent sized book I can remember reading was "Charlie and the Chocolate factory" By Roald Dahl in Year 1.

2. Have a strange addiction to crosswords and word puzzles. The latest being an addiction to the target in the daily paper (which I suspect I caught from Julia)

3. People once claimed I looked like musician John Mayer, until the people in question actually SAW Mayer at an Adelaide concert.

4. I almost gave my first kindergarten teacher a heart attack by telling her that when I grew up, I wanted to be a palaeontologist.

5. Running into the same teacher over a decade later, she still recognized me as "The dinosaur kid"

6. As a child, I was permanently sick. Colds, flu, allergies. You name it, I had it.

7. The worst of my childhood illnesses was tonsillitis, which I was sick with about every 2 weeks. I used to hallucinate and see random patterns and colour.

8. This led to my tonsillectomy when I was four. Before my operation I ordered scrambled eggs and ice cream and jelly for breakfast the next day. After the operation, I only managed to eat the jelly.

9. Due to amazing recuperative powers, my tonsils grew back. This I discovered on a non-related doctor's visit in Year 11.

10. I have a chronic instant scratchie/scratch lotto addiction which is fuelled by constantly buying Crossword tickets hoping to win the big one and being able to pay off all my student debt.

11. I once suffered a crippling fear of enclosed spaces until I confronted it in Year 10 STEP by going caving.

12. But not before having an embarrassing breakdown in an earlier caving expedition.

13. An uneasiness of heights was overcome the same year.

14. Initially my mother always wanted to her first son Lucas or Marcus. Both of which don't really go with my last name, Lucas.

15. I have MASSIVE dimples. While working for Meals on Wheels, a nice little old lady told me that dimples were evil and a mark of the devil.

16. I always wanted to learn to play the piano, but at present all I can play is "Silent Night" (Badly) and Ben folds five's – "Brick" (Very badly)

17. If I were ever to have a daughter, I would name her "Cailin"

18. This came about while I was filling in one of those email chain surveys your friends send you when they are bored. When I got to the question about children's names, "Cailin"- By Unwritten Law was playing. The name grew on me.

19. Have never broken a bone or been seriously injured despite horrible coordination and general clumsiness.

20. I have a book filled with half written song lyrics, images, interesting metaphors and turns of phrase. One day I figure they might all fall together to some sort of song.

21. Whenever I think of something interesting and profound to say or write down in the book, I am alone. Usually driving.

22. I suffer horribly from insomnia, and hence consider myself primarily nocturnal.

23. Sleepless nights are spent reading, studying, playing guitar or staring at the walls. I also suffer from a form of insomnia that can only be slated by writing.

24. I suck at all forms of mental arithmetic. I can hardly do even simple sums without the aid of pen and paper (and occasionally fingers and toes)

25. As a testament to my poor mental arithmetic skills, Julia bought me a seven times tables chart for Christmas back when we were a couple.

26. Cannot sleep in silence or else I go crazy. I need some sort of sound to sleep to, whether it is music, static, the wind or someone else’s breathing.

27. Also walk and talk in my sleep. Was once witnessed by a roomful of people in the boys dorm on a school trip to the Aboriginal community, Nepabunna. Have once cut myself while sleepwalking and woke up covered in blood.

28. While on the subject of strange nocturnal habits, I sometimes snap awake as if shocked for no good reason. Alarming for anyone who happens to be with me at the time.

29. I was once told that I have a good voice for radio because it is easy to listen to me talk shit for hours.

30. I was also once told I have a good face for radio.

31. In high school, my friends and I played a mutant version of "The Kevin Bacon game" or "Six degrees of separation" in which we tried to link celebrities to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Between us, we were rarely stumped.

32. I started playing guitar because I wanted to learn the song "Wonderwall" by Oasis

33. During high school, my parents thought I was addicted to painkillers because I suffered from constant 'headaches' and took appropriate pain medication.

34. The cause of the headaches was later discovered to be poor eyesight in my left eye.

35. Developed my love of M*A*S*H from an early age, since my parents used re-runs of it as a baby sitter. Dad claiming that it was "educational because my grandfather served in Korea" and Mum claiming that it was "better than the Simpsons"

36. Looked up to Mclean Stevenson and Alan Alda (Henry Blake and Hawkeye Pierce respectively) as father figures. As a child, requested that I be bought a Henry style fishing hat (although I don't fish). Currently own a Hawkeye style bathrobe.

37. This character worship from M*A*S*H has been cited as a possible source of my sarcasm and wit.

38. I can say "I love you", "I like chicken" and "Where is the toilet?" in Russian, Ukrainian, Japanese, German, French, Indonesian and English

39. I figure this pretty much covers me for anywhere I might like to travel.

40. Various people throughout my life have told me to stand up straight and not mumble when I talk.

41. This included my mother, teachers, friends and girlfriends.

42. At 12, I had an argument with a nun about Christianity and the existence of God, basing my argument on science. The nun was shocked into silence.

43. List my religion as "none". Though baptized and raised a Christian, I place no faith in Christianity or any organized religion, purely because I hate being told how I should think and act.

44. Considered 'good' at doing silly voices and making silly noises. Use The water drip, dolphin noise and dinosaur scream my trademarks, along with various other regional accents as comic relief.

45. Have never been overseas and have visited only 2 major cities other than Adelaide in which I live. The first being Brisbane when I was four and the second being Melbourne for a concert in senior year.

46. Both of my parents are junior primary teachers. This meant that I could never get away with not doing my homework as a child.

47. I am almost permanently late. Rarely am I somewhere exactly at the time I said I would be. When I tell someone "I will be there at 1:00”"people who know me know this means "I will be there between 1:15 and 3:00." People who don’t know me get angry.

48.Once spoke in an poor Irish accent (picture Richard Gere in The Jackal) for 9 days straight because mum said it was irritating.

49. I have a fantastic memory for trivia and bullshit but a mind like a sieve about everything else.

50. Due to number 49, I have a constant dialogue of movie and TV quotes, and kick ASS at quiz nights.

51. I almost died halfway through my senior year after falling asleep with the lamp on and having the hot bulb set fire to my pillow. I woke with a light bulb shaped hole in the pillow next to my head and the smell of burning.

52. Once upon a time I played baseball, but gave it up when I realized if you don't play football or cricket, no one cares.

53.For many years of Indonesian, my Indo teacher referred to me as "Seorang Bangsat" which roughly means "The rascal"/ "The larrikin" / "the troublemaker".

54. I often talk to myself when alone. It usually takes the form of abuse when I've done something stupid though.

55. I have the suckkiest work ethic known to man. I rarely study until the last minute, even if I know I am about to be screwed by an exam/assignment/etc. (By last minute I mean, walking into the exam room)

56. I still sleep with the Star Wars quilt I have had since I was a child of about 10. Its warm and chicks dig it.

57. When I was 3 or 4, I fell out of my cubby house, about 4 meters onto a concrete incinerator slab. Mum says I bounced.

58. I have lived in the same area all my life. Although we moved when I was 13, we only moved 2 minutes down the road.

59. For a good part of my life, I have had no fixed hairstyle, and that seems to work for me. "Permanent bed-head" is the term I believe.

60. I'm a curbside prophet with my hand in my pocket and I'm waiting for my rocket to come.

61. I am a big fan of the double entendre. Number 60 is an example of one. If you don't know what it is, that's what a glossary is for.

62. There's something wrong with my face! In every ID photo I have, I have this twisted half smile (Which looks more retarded than endearing)

63. I have a bizarre oral fixation. I always have gum or chupa-chups, or pens, guitar picks, etc to chew on. I have only recently stopped biting my nails.

64. When drinking Instant coffee I have 3-5 sugars and a little milk.

65. Brewed coffee however I will drink straight if I have to, maybe with 1-2 sugars, but rarely with milk.

66. I am way serious about my coffee.

67. I am immensely proud of my left handedness for no real reason at all.

68. I prefer channel Seven's "Sunrise" over channel Nine's "Today" because Sunrise is SO much better.

69. I'm so childish, this number always makes me chuckle.

70. Running at night is the most savage form of therapy I inflict upon myself.

71. I gave up biting my nails because it made it hard for me to play guitar. They would bleed, and that's nasty.

72. Coincidently enough, this number is the name of my favourite Turin Brakes song.

73. The first CD I ever bought was "The Presidents of the United States of America – 2." It was lame then, and it's still fairly lame now. But we were all young once.

74. I'm also a back porch poet with a book of rhymes.

75. My favourite chocolate? Milky Bar Cookies and Cream.

76. I have been described as many things, the best of which are smart, funny, witty, hilarious, sweet, caring, free thinking and artistic. Someone even called me the "strongest person they know."

77. The worst of which are arrogant, egotistic, sarcastic, selfish and a bastard, and a meddler among others.

78. I followed my father's example by using my confirmation name as a real name. (I don't know why he did it, but its quasi family tradition, making him Peter Phillip John and me, Nick James-Michael)

79. I don't actually HAVE a favourite drink as far as alcohol goes. I am particularly partial to any sort of martini. I prefer them dry, but I will drink them, dry, sweet, dirty or perfect. I also enjoy Manhattans, and most beer and scotch, but I will try anything.

80. Favourite non-alcoholic drink is Lemon Lime and Bitters.

81. If I had to pick a best feature of myself, I would say my hands. They are long fingered coordinated from years of typing and guitar and look sweet in reflected monitor light.

82. I swear a hell of a lot more than I should. Especially when I am around kids, priests, old ladies etc.

83. I have tried to supplement this by converting to swearing in other languages, or using non-offensive replacements for curse words.

84. Though I have been a guitarist and musician for almost 7 years, I cannot read sheet music, and rely on guitar tablature.

85. I am against not having sex before marriage because I think that if you are going to commit to someone like that, you should know everything about them; that includes what they are like in the sack. Also, I think that sexual intimacy is too important to a relationship to blunder into marriage without having experience first.

86. I could quite happily spend all my money on guitars and still want more guitars.

87. When I win the lottery, I will buy my dream guitar. A Martin HD-35

88. I have many good friends of whom I have met over the net but never met in the real world.

89. I have an inherent love of First person shooters and arcade shooters, and I am fairly good at both.

90. I am a stereotypical Aquarius. Reading a list of Aquarian qualities is like reading a list of my best and worst traits.

91. I have the weird habit of reading the horoscopes of those close to me before I read my own. Always in the same order. First: old girlfriends, then friends, immediate family and last, my own.

92. Though I don't REALLY place a lot of stock in horoscopes, I still think it's interesting to see how accurate they are.

93. I refuse to drink normal, plain, run-of-the-mill cola flavoured coke, unless it is mixed with booze. Otherwise the taste just reminds me of booze. Plus I don't like post-mix coke from bars anyway.

94. I loathe all forms of commercial radio, believing that by overplaying songs, they spoil them for everyone. The only thing I EVER listen to on the radio is The Breakfast Show with Adam and Wil on Triple J.

95. I worked hard labour on a Christmas Tree farm as a means of getting money as a high school student. It was there I learnt that almost any job is better than hauling Christmas trees uphill, in the rain and loading them onto trucks, or pruning trees in 38 degree heat, getting poked by pine needles and covered in resin which takes FOREVER to come off. (and takes huge clumps of body hair with it)

96. I also worked behind a bar which I think is one of the most enjoyable jobs I have done. I like working at a frantic pace and constantly moving. Its golden.

97. The only reality TV show that I can bear to watch is "Survivor". I hate Big Brother with a passion.

98. I think the word 'boob' is sloppy and horribly unromantic, but funny all the same.

99. When I can't sleep, I regularly walk down to the living room and curl up on the couch to watch TV. That normally lulls me off to sleep. Favourites to watch are incessant re-runs of M*A*S*H (which I practically know by heart), CSI, Letterman, and various other late night shows. (not to mention DVD's from my collection)

100. It took me WAY too long to write this damn list because I am always occupied with something else AND have the attention span of a goldfish.

101. Sometimes I like to pretend I'm a rebel by rebelling against something stupid. Like putting only 100 things in this list.

Dont Eat The Yellow Snow: 100 Things

One Hundred (100) Things about Nick